瓶颈。绝对是瓶颈。

困境。绝对是困境。

也許是裝B瘋又犯了，開始讀詩。

是為什麼會突然想起來讀詩的呢？大概是因為最開始看《絕望的主婦》第四季第十集裡，Lynette和鄰居老太太一起為死去的另一個老太太Ida念的詩《Do not stand at my grave and weep》。當時就覺得英文真是美。後來是《英國病人》裡女主角在死前寫下那些像詩的東西。實在是催淚。

My darling. I'm waiting for you. How long is a day in the dark? Or a week? The fire is gone now. And I'm cold, horribly cold. I really want to drag myself outside but then there'd be the sun. I'm afraid I waste the light on the paintings, and I'm not writing these words. We die. We die,we die rich with lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have...entered and swum up like rivers. Fears we have hidden in ---- like this wretched cave. I want all this marked on my body. We're the real countries, not the boundaries drawn on maps with the names of powerful men. I know you'll come and carry me out into the Palace of Winds. That's what I've wanted: to walk in such a place with you, with friends, on the earth without maps. The lamp has gone out and I'm writing in the darkness.

一段文字，很是感動我。這根本就是自己的濫情，被煽情搞得頭昏腦脹。

後來，找到家裡的一些中文詩來讀，家裡的中文詩只有三本，Emily Dickinson，William Wordsworth的中文翻譯版詩集還有方文山的韻腳詩集。細細讀來，也別具風格。

後來又想到許久都買不到的夏雨的詩集，真是想要啊。《粉紅色的噪音》這本書的裝潢也很不錯，就是太貴，也不好買。在網上download到一些以前的詩集，就復製下來，自己排排版，然後打印成厚厚一疊打印的A4紙，裝訂好，捧在手裡讀。

下午的時候在家看碟，很老的片，卻喜歡得很，雌雄大盜的故事《Bonnie and Clyde》。裡面Bonnie在影片最後也寫了一首詩，講了他們兩的故事。又是詩。

實在是著了魔的瘋戀上詩，中文或者英文。知道這樣裝B的行為很偽文藝青年。管他呢，自己爽才是真的爽。

最後推薦那首電視裡煽情的詩。《Do not stand at my grave and weep》 
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

絲絲絲絲絲絲。

最近被千絲萬線纏繞。

愛你這個大麻煩。

Shanghai!

Shanghai!

牠帶我見人魚，灰身鱗片燿眼，長矛杏眼起皺海藻。

出賣靈魂影子，換取片刻豐盛繾綣肆意飽腹感，須臾甩掉睏擾睡眠飲食住行性交之膿包。

你對我說，就這樣就這樣，好好切割，不帶血。

我一刀一刀，一點一點，沒有戰抖，活剮煩擾三千吋斷愁腸。

觸怒撒旦天使受詛咒。撒旦說，撞向嘆息的牆壁就可安穩及命。

頭破血流縫隙裡匆匆流年，青絲賤長瘋魔成狂。投靠伊甸毒蛇臣服天使路西法學習莉莉斯。

沙羅雙樹太空堡壘艦隊殺掉，只剩紙片落下重量。